The Hiding Spot

Future comes when it comes. Future comes when it comes. Future comes when it comes. Future comes when it comes. Future comes when it comes. Detaching from the future making my way into now while my claws are tightly on the future I desire the future I fear the future I worry about the grip of the now is pulling me back softly but strongly to the present moment I’m sitting in small shift in my mind breaks the tie between the two and lets the now bring me back to the present where I’m safe. I can see the future slipping away, drifting  further and further from me to where it’s supposed to be and I‘m being pulled back to my anchor settled into a seat shaped like a wooden hand and it’s softer than the clouds but more grounded than  my healing place up in the sky. Roots and branches and leaves start hugging me down hugging me back hugging me around. I can feel them wrapping around my earthly body so loving and so soft grounding my mind back to the now. “Future comes when it comes” ...

Rain and green warm and chill sleep and dream like everything‘s like in your arms. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~ Sundays, cozy, no rush, snoozy, no alarm nowhere to go nothing to do but just stay where you are where we are like we‘re supposed to be and no rush none at all moving slow and warm and green and calm songs feel now like they‘re supposed to do and i‘m listening for the millionth time but hearing this once and hearing only us while the world just stands still and waits quietly in my head and i‘m hearing the drips the drops the quiet the peace and a storm is going on inside me but oh what a storm never been there in one so calmly and lovingly like i always knew I was one day supposed to be it‘s a storm of overwhelm while all the love is washing me and bringing out the child who‘s now starting to believe I am here and she is here we‘re sitting out here side by side and you‘re back there with your child in the coziest of beds and in the quietest of peace and the warmest of the feelings it‘...

  Bird’s beating like a drum in my ears and I look up the trees are bowing down for me. Then we start dancing together like a distant memory from when I was still me purely bravely and freely. And this time, I get to grow where I come from I get to humble myself down to the earth I was lifted up from the earth that bore me and now I get to give birth to a brand new me. *** walks further, sits to look at flowers, walks again, puts a playlist named “songs that make me think of you”. *** redefining songs releasing my heart redirecting my love *** gets lost in self love and the forest. *** Phew! Just thought I got lost! went into a small path that turned into a mountain bike path that turned into not even a real path slippery with leaves all the way downhill! luckily ended back up in a path that looks like a path and a house that looks like a house!  *** focuses back on the playlist, redefining the songs for self love, re-feeling all the lyrics. *** Phew!  back to the “real” ...

First time in the life for some of us for two of us bliss experiencing nature in a way for a new connection learning all the limits of my body and my mind learning there are none for my joy and my love so calming to walk with you even under the heaviness and the distance that’s left. so calming to watch you two with all the love I have for you two. it’s those moments when you just don’t feel the need or the pressure to feel it back that you love the most. it’s always those parts you know when the love bursting out of your heart is so much that you don’t even want it back but give it all the way and that is the pure bliss under the trees and on the rocks watching you two loving you two.

I'm learning to ask for what I want I'm learning to communicate I'm learning to not take the answer personally I'm learning to wait I'm learning it's not always about me I'm learning to respond. I'm learning it doesn't take from me when I give I'm learning to love one and all and the one child or grown I'm learning to hug all I'm learning to grow here or there or near. I'm learning not to ignore I'm learning rather to grow into the pleasure and the fear and the laughter and the tear. I'm learning to hug my heart I'm learning to kiss my soul I'm learning to wipe my fears I'm learning to soften my core I'm learning to ask I'm learning to listen I'm learning that one can exist independently and I'm learning it's not always me.  I'm learning that every little, big, fragile, strong soul in this big, giant universe has holes they're trying to mend I'm learning to cover your soul with love ...

 I'm so grateful to be alive. There's always the reality that we were taught while growing up we grow in one reality we are all taught different realities in different families in different countries in different cultures, but amazingly we somehow so coincidentally but so strongly oh so strongly we find our ways to each other to create a new, our own reality.  I'm not a believer, I have no faith but I'm so sure that at one point  of billions and billions of years of existence I so deeply, deeply believe that our atoms crossed paths. Maybe we were exploding together from the sun, making our ways to our part of the universe. And then in this reality we created we chose our reality and yet found ourselves floating through the universe again after billions and billions of years we found each other again and took the time for sure! I guess our atoms knew that it'd be worth the wait, I guess our atoms knew that the waiting could take as much as it takes as long as we end ...