The Hiding Spot

I'm thrilled and I'm excited. but I feel scared. I'm overwhelmed with possibilities. and I'm unprepared. 'cause when it feels too good to be true, it is often too good to be true. Somehow I know it's too good to be true, somehow I know nothing and no one is perfect but there are imperfections that I can accept and there are the dealbreakers. and those make me so upset.  I jump so many steps ahead, maybe I'm the red flag I'm a projector  and maybe I project my own inner love bomb that I want to unleash onto someone I don't even know yet. I have a lot of love in me and I somehow love that about me and then I go and find it pathetic and needy. I have a lot of love to give to take to exchange but I keep it all inside at least I thought I had to and when someone asked me to give them it I decided they were pathetic. So if they want this, they must be as pathetic as me, what is wrong with them what is wrong with them what the fuck is wrong with them that m...

There is a crack in the box that's holding you,  some of yourself is leaking out.  And you're afraid now they'll see you're not the quiet, little girl anymore.  The good girl they wanted you to be.  But no, someone presses their finger on the crack,  stopping you from sliding out,  she wants you to stay in,  as the good little girl, you have always been.  Funny how some of the biggest pains turn into the wildest pleasures.  "Stay inside the walls!" she says.  "They're there for a reason.  I don't remember what the reason was or who built them.  But accept it.  Don't cry now.  Be quiet.  Be a good girl.  You're annoying.  Don't be so sensitive." Little baby, now you know — you're not wanted out there.  Hide,  make yourself small,  take as little space as possible.  Stay inside these walls.  Would it even matter if you tried?  The walls are so thick with mud  layered on ...