Karma

-
I am not the child I used to be
enjoying the feeling of a freefall
at the luna park.
Luna parks are for dashing cars
and I dashed and killed so many
that it's not fun any more.

And now I know,
that it's coming to get me
fast as could be.
and now i feel
ready for the big crush
but it's not fun any more.

Time to pay back, I know
you need to make it even
score a point or two,
I know.
but just don't let it come from him
'cause it's not fun any more.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Velcroed Souls

-
I'm thrilled and I'm excited. but I feel scared. I'm overwhelmed with possibilities. and I'm unprepared. 'cause when it feels too good to be true, it is often too good to be true. Somehow I know it's too good to be true, somehow I know nothing and no one is perfect but there are imperfections that I can accept and there are the dealbreakers. and those make me so upset.  I jump so many steps ahead, maybe I'm the red flag I'm a projector  and maybe I project my own inner love bomb that I want to unleash onto someone I don't even know yet. I have a lot of love in me and I somehow love that about me and then I go and find it pathetic and needy. I have a lot of love to give to take to exchange but I keep it all inside at least I thought I had to and when someone asked me to give them it I decided they were pathetic. So if they want this, they must be as pathetic as me, what is wrong with them what is wrong with them what the fuck is wrong with them that m...
Read more

Playing Power

-
Wow. Do I stick around long enough  playing the game by the rules   so I can come to a position of power  to change the game? Or is this what everyone says  before they fall slave to the system Victim when disadvantaged,   blind and deaf when privileged What if I forget about the disadvantaged   when I climb to the level of the privileged What if I forget about me   and become the one who oppresses me? How to stay in the game long enough   so I can kick the key players out And is it even worth it? Why do the disadvantaged have to take workshops to learn how to fit in the world of the privileged And when the privileged is suggested to do the same,  they’re immediately offended Why do I have to hide my womanhood  and learn how to be a man To be able to survive in a system  where I’m maybe allowed to do less than I can I'm not supposed to show emotions Because the game is pretending I'm not supposed to be honest   Because the game...
Read more

Weekend Blues Matinee

-
I feel so heavy Yet I struggle to let it down I'm not sure what combination of feelings and thoughts is weighing me down I feel an immense sadness mostly centered between my eyebrows and my eye sockets contract like they want to release the weight but somehow I don't maybe I don't want to accept that I'm sad yet again and so soon and I know the easiest way is right through I don't even know why I'm sad or maybe I wish to have been done by now with being sad about  the things I'm sad about Whenever I feel like this it quickly combines with the hate directed right inwards so I keep looking at older pictures of me with sad nostalgia and pity remembering how miserable I was yet I looked so young and pretty and thin and happy Now I have the real reasons to be sad I look old and weary and my body is giving up completely The way I feel sad about myself doesn't feel compassionate no, not one drop of it It feels like pitying someone I would never want to be. And...
Read more