Rest

I feel alone.

I feel even more in crowds.

I feel like there isn't much I can give,

and all I need is to take. 

I feel no interest,

I feel no strength to ask,

just existing,

and watching the people in awe

asking each other questions

desperately wanting to connect

and to share with anyone who listens.

I feel like I have to listen to so many voices in my head already,

that I have no ear left for anyone else, 

and I've not even ever asked.

I feel so tired,

and I feel like everyone sees it,

my face literally shapeshifts with sadness, 

but somehow no one asks.

How come no one asks?

I feel alone in the crowds, 

more than I've ever felt.

I feel alone in these crowds,

looking at them and feeling invisible

talking to them and feeling unhearable.

I open my mouth and all these screams are coming out, 

yet no one hears a thing.

How come no one hears?

I feel alone in the sea of happy chit-chats of the crowd,

the crowd, that once was family,

the crowd once I cared about,

the crowd once cared about me. 

I feel alone amongst all my closest people,

It's like I'm falling into this dark hole,

-nothing unusual-

and this time I'm reaching

hoping someone gives me their hand

but instead, all are chatting and chirping happily

gathered around the hole I'm in

giving their regards to the person I have once been.

How come no one reaches?