Handstands

Everywhere are your photos
in every talk your name comes up
in every corner your memory.

How am I supposed to not miss you
or move on with my life
and still have you in it
as someone I valued once
but now a good friend of mine.

In every plan, you might join
on any day, you might call
but i‘m still supposed to move on
then everywhere I look there is you.

I still wait for you to come home
only to find me procrastinating
and say „Aah“ with your „making fun of Özge“ voice
„It‘s been a productive day I see!“

I still wait for you to sneak in bed
after a long night out
though I sleep always early
and you come home and cuddle me.

I still wait for you to come to my room to check on me
and laugh if I‘m still in bed
and say that it‘s a good way to spend the time
give me a hug and rush to 
wherever it is you always went.

I still wait for you to come in the evening
with a bottle of wine and a delicious recipe to cook
you cut the garlic, I cut the onion
and we take a sip from the same glass of wine
that is impossible to break.

I still wait for you to come back, you know
though I know you won‘t
and then I try to move on,
and then I look around
and everywhere is you
and then I look around
here is only me to see
left behind with bruises
pink and black and blue.